You are the wind beneath my wings

That is such a sappy/crappy song, but put it to the movie Beaches, the scene where Hillary Whitney dies at the beach with CC Bloom and I am a bloody crying mess. I just got finished watching that movie. I have seen it probably 50 times and I CRY EVERY TIME. I will cry in the same parts in Steel Magnolias (when Shelby dies and Sally Fields' character goes apeshit at the funeral and says her hair DOES look like a brown football helmet. In Terms of Endearment I cry when the Debra Wingers children say goodbye to her, because they know she is dying. Why do I do this to myself?

I don't even think any wind could lift my fat ass off up the ground, however. Damn, I was doing so good with eating and exersize. Enter Thanksgiving and that just opened the floodgates for a gorp fest of holiday eating. Ughk, I can feel the expansion in my mid section as well as my bottom section and it is settling in one of my chins. To make matters worse we leave tomorrow for a cruise.

Yeah, a cruise. My parents are taking me, the hub and the boys on a cruise for my birthday. A virtual food explosion. I have been on one cruise before when I was 16. I thought it was OK. I think I was bored, I was 16, locked on a ship with my parents and my sister. My sister was 18 and she could drink. I couldn't. She would drink these giant mai tai's in a coconut. Everyone on the ship seemed like they were aged 75 and above and there were no cute boys. But then again I was 16 and everything was 'lame' or 'stupid'. Fast forward 22 years and I am sailing for the second time. This time I can drink, YAY. This time I have a real appreciation for older people. Hell, I think they are much cooler than most people my age. This time I am going to have to listen to to 13 year olds say things are 'lame' or 'stupid'. Paybacks are a bitch. It's going to be alot of fun we have lots of cool stuff planned while we are in port. I just am not looking forward to turning a year older. 3. 9. Thats how old I will be on Monday. I feel 25 so I am just going to stick with that. Yeah I am 25. Thats better.

2007 is drawing to a close. Honestly I am happy to see it go. I hope for alot of action in the new year. Progress with the adoption (a girl can hope, yeah?) and hopefully we can put the fight with the county behind us and get this house project finished (again, a girl can hope, yeah?). To all of you.....I hope 2008 brings you a glimpse of your childs beautiful face and for all of us that continue to wait, we get this flipping show on the road.

Happy New Year and keep on rocking in the free world.

Happy Christmas

My tradition

I started this with the boys when they were like 6 or 7. I would make sugar cutouts and they would decorate them. I wish I had some photos to share of the progression of their decorating technique. These are this years cookies. I made them and had to pin them down in a choke hold to help me decorate them. Being a 13 year old boy and decorating cookies with your mom is just so out of their coolness factor, it's not even funny. So when they finally threw me a bone (hence, the addition to the dog bone cookie cutter this year) and picked up the pastry bags of frosting we all went to town. You can tell which ones I did and which ones they did pretty easily. But at this point I'll take what I can get. Lets see if they will behoove themselves next year.

Lah-dee-freakin-dah

One Year.
(1/3 there?)

Catching up

Holidays got you down?
Not me! Bailey....maybe, but then again she always looks that way. Yes, thats my girl chillin' by the Christmas tree. Finally got the tree decorated, it only took 7 days. I broke down the timeline for you.

Day 1: We bought it (smells amazing by the way)
Day 2: Put the lights on
Day 3: Got the boxes of ornaments out of the garage
Day 4: Made date with boys to help me decorate it
Day 5: Force boys to decorate the tree with me, bribe them with S'mores
Day 6: Had to buy new tree skirt because apparently, the cat peed on it last year and it smelled BAD............off to Target
Day 7: Forgot to put the topper on. We have a Santa who looks like Gimley. DONE!
Day 8: Let the good times roll.

I have pretty much all of my shopping done. I did 99% of it online. God, I LOVE the internet. Now comes the bummer part, wrapping all of this crap. We are not the "pick a name out of the hat" type families. We have the family that buy gifts for everyone, and I mean everyone. So this process takes lots of time and TONS of wrapping paper. I finally got my Christmas cards addressed and ready to send out tomorrow. We have two parties left to got to next weekend. I am in need of a hot toddy.

And LOOK who they let into D-land

I met my homegirl Alana there last week. We had a FABULOUS time!! She is exactly how I pictured her. Reed calls her "The 5 foot one ball of fury". But don't let that fool you she is a sweetheart with a heart of gold. Her daughter and hubby are adorable, too! (Hey.......Alana, the tip on how to get rid of double chins in pictures didn't work....UGH)

From our familty to yours.....

Uncomfortably numb

I have numbed my self for months regarding our adoption. I try not to think about it or talk about it. Then reality hits. Referrals for 6 days if LID's and I realize how completely Eff-ed we are. We were told 2 years was our worst case scenario. My worst case scenario is my biggest hope right now, knowing full well that it is going to be four years before we see our referral. This is wrong. This is not what we signed on for. Like Secret Agent, we signed on with the China Program because out of all the programs China was the most stable and supposedly the greatest need for parents of baby girls who were abandoned because they were born female. We were wrong. China has 30,000 couples and singles waiting patiently (and now not so patiently) waiting to see a refferal. We considered changing programs. I had the application filled out and the check written but not sent. The agency we planned on using was suddenly under major scrutiny so we decide to sit back and watch the drama play out before we did anything. Finding another agency, would mean more research and longer wait times because lots of people are fed up with China and bailing out and switching to other programs, plus the thought of paperchasing again makes me queasy. So here we sit in the China line with 30,000 other waiting parents. Again, this is not what I signed on for. When we signed with our agency we were told to prepare for a 12 month wait. The day we got our LID, our coordinator told us expect the wait to grow and a worst case scenario would be two years. Well, we all know the bullshit in that statement very well. On the 18th of this month we will be logged in a year, we have 322 LID's ahead of us, I'm not going to crunch numbers for you, we all know the math. What I want to know is why these agencies walk on eggshells around the CCA@. They ask questions, but very passive type questions and get even less passive answers. I want real answers, damn it. This is my life, my future and I know nothing. They send us updates. Their updates are the same thing every time: "We know the wait is hard" and "Let us know if there is anything we can do". Yeah, there is something you can do ADVOCATE FOR US. We have already paid our agency for services rendered, we have paid our fees to the CCA@. We now have to renew paperwork and pay more fees. It's like writing checks and sending them into the abyss. This sucks ass.

It's that time again, folks.....

I snagged this one from The Amazing Ms Maia

1. Where where you 3 hours ago?
At work, hearing all the boys twitter with antisipation of our upcoming swell that is supposed to hit within 24 hours. $20 says my hubby surfs all day tomorrow and blows off work.

2. Who are you in love with?
The barista who made my coffee this morning at Starbucks.

3. Have you ever eaten a crayon?
Um yes. When I was 6. I wanted to see if my pooh would be rainbow like when my dog ate crayons.

4. Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?
Yes, a pink hairband that my neice left here yeaterday.

5. When was the last time you went to the mall?
A few months ago to buy a new bra and underpanties at VS. Well it asked.

6. Are you wearing socks right now?
No.

7. Do you have a car worth over $2000.
Unbelievebly, yes.

8. When was the last time you drove out of town.
Like road trip out of town? That was to go to my parents in AZ. Or like out of town-out of town? That was a few weeks ago to go to Los Angeles.

9. Have you been to the movies in the last 5 days?
Yes, to see American Gangster. Believe the hype, this movie is amazing.

10. What was the last thing you had to drink?
A bottle of Dasani water I bought from PetsMart.

11. What are you wearing right now?
A Lynard Skynard concert T, a black hoodie sweater and some black sweatpants.

12. Do you wash your car or let the car wash do it.
Car wash. I don't want to hammer the funk off my car, no way, no how.

13. Last food you ate?
A greek salad and onion rings.

14. Where were you last week this time?
Probably doing the same flipping thing I am doing now. My life is like the movie Groundhog Day.

15. Have you bought any clothing items in the past week?
Yes, I ordered a dress online for a party I am going to.

16. When is the last time you flossed?
Last night.

17. What is the last TV program you watched?
A DVR'd episode of Oprah

18. What is your favorite animal?
I'm down with the gorilla

19. (This one was missing so I'm adding my own) What sign are you?
Capricorn

20. What is your favorite dream vacation?
Right now I am into going to Morroco, Spain and Italy

21. Last person's home you were in?
Our friends' Mike and Patti's house in Hawaii

22. Worst injury you ever had?
I broke my baby toe, it hurt like a mother. Do cramps count?

23. Do you miss anyone right now?
My friend Denise in Australia.

24. Last play you saw?
Peter Pan. My 11 year old niece was Wendy. She was Oscar worthy.

25. What is you secret weapon to lure the opposite sex?
My Anzac Biscuits

26. What are your plans for this evening?
Just got home. I'm parked for the night.

27. Next trip you are going to take?
The Mexican Riviera the end of this month

28. Ever go to camp?
Horse camp at Rawhide Ranch. My camp counselor had the biggest boobs I had ever seen.

29. Were you an honour roll student?
I was a solid B student so I would have to say no.

30. What do you want to know about the future?
The future scares me.

31. Are you wearing any perfume or cologne?
I am wearing Plumeria body butter

32. Are you due sometime soon for a doctors visit?
Yes we have to have physicals scheduled at the end of the month for our homestudy update.

33. Where is your mother?
In the mountians of Arizona.

34. Do you have a tan?
Yeah, we just got back fron 10 days in Hawaii

35. What are you listening to right now?
I an listening to my dogs bark at the boys because it is their dinnertime and it's the boys job to feed them. They follow them around barking, the boys ignore them until I say "Can you not hear them asking for dinner?? FEED THEM!!!" Now they are arguing who fed them last.

36. Do you collect anything.
I collect Homies and La Creuset french cookware.

37. Who is the biggest liar you know?
I know a few but they shall remain nameless.

38. Last time you got stopped by cop or pulled over.
I got pulled over for speeding a couple of years ago. It was 7am and I was taking the boy's to school in my jammies and no bra. Poor guy.

39. What is the weird exotic food that you like?
I will drink Horchata or Tamarindo at taco shops. Jellyfish in Chinatown.

40. Do you like hot sauce.
I like my sauce hot like my men.

41. Last time you took a shower?
This morning.

42. Sesame Street Character you most identify with?
I love Snuffleupagus. But my personality is more like Ernie from Bert and Ernie
43. Do you need to do laundry?
Laundry is my nemesis. Linda was here today and she knocked out about 3 loads. I love Linda.

44. What is your heritage?
Native American and Irish. Equal parts of both.

45. Are you rich?
I'm rich in Monopoly money

Need your help

This in the holiday dress I bought for a party. I need some shoes. I found three that I like but I can't decide which one I like the best. Which one would you pick?

A. The black peep toe mary jane











B. The black/white giraffe pump















C. The red patent mary jane (I have red bauble-y necklace and bracelet to pick up the red)