That's me....

Yes, my friends.....Homegirl is 40 today. I hear it's the new 30. I am banking on that.
40th blowout party on Saturday night. Embarrassing and unflattering photos to follow, I'm sure.

Two. Years.

So what do you get the waiting parent for their 2 year LID-versary? Silver? Copper? Gold?

I would say a dull, rusty butter knife to the eyeball would suffice.

Seriously, this is brutal. And with no end in sight it makes for not very happy anniversary's. I think we will celebrate with some potstickers and a 55 gallon drum of Sake. Yeah, that'll take the edge off.

100 Things Bucket List

Copy/Paste and highlight the things on this list you have done.

Here's mine:

1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you're not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a marathon (a half marathon)
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo's David
41. Sung karaoke (unfortunately)
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone's life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a lawsuit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee
100. Read an entire book in one day

I tag anyone who is bored enough to do this.

It's shaping up to resemble Christmas

Tonight's festivities

Putting on the lights

Peace on Earth
(Yes, it was no makeup day)

Bro's

I have no idea what this is

Bling

My Favorite

Treasured family memories

Happy Holidays!

One down, one to go......

• My Thanksgiving was nice, thanks for asking. All I can say is Road Trip, and Homegirl is no fan of the road trip. Being in a car for hours on end not only makes me squirly and my booty ache, it is a sort of battleground for my Homies and me. Why does the car automatically cause a teenage boy to emit gaseous odors from his bum? Why does the car have to crap out at the Sonic parking lot, because I had to have a Cherry Limeade (a shout out to the dude at AAA for rescuing us). Why is it MY fault a certain 14 year old thinks I am the keeper of his ipod? Why does SoCal have to have the most people in the world traveling at the same time I did? Other than that it was great. Got to spend time with family and had a fantastic dinner, some shopping and a lots of movie watching. Good times. Next time we are flying, so you know. Well, now that Thanksgiving is in the bag, it's on to Christmas. Onward soliders!

• Speaking of Christmas. I just am getting around to thinking about shopping. You would think that the army of family members I have to buy for I would be more efficient in planning and shopping. Yeah, NO that would not be me. I did some ordering online last night. 4 down, 22 to go. I need to campaign for the "pick a name out of the hat" kind of Christmas. Nobody will go for it. Happy Christmas, A-holes (said with love).

• I have signed up to do the Breast Cancer 3 Day again. I really needed the year off to heal my battlewounds wounds and get through this house project. Now that it is finished I can focus on non-house related things, like trying to shed this Mycontractorisagiantdickhead 15 lbs I gained during this whole thing. I am looking forward to training again, the weekend walks and seeing my teammates regularly again.

• I really CANNOT stand that mom from John and Hate plus 8 show. It was on the other night when I was cleaning the kitchen and can I just say that that chick grates on every nerve I have? I mean, if I popped out a litter of kiddies, and got a show out of it where they send me on lavish trips to depict "real life". I would certainly have pulled the stick out of my ass.

• Do you see a trend of trend of surliness in this post? I do, and it is scary....

• I made homemade bread for the first time in my life yesterday. OK, who ever invented flour and yeast has my undying love and gratitude. Who knew I could bake bread? It was actually simple. I used the recipe from this chick and not only made the rolls but 2 loves of bread. And guess what? I didn't suck! And I wonder where that 15 lbs came from.

Well thats about it, for the mind of me. Nothing too exciting to report other than I must be PMS-ing deluxe by re-reading this post. Off to the drugstore for an economy sized bottle of Extra Srength Mid0l.

ENJOY. I did!

See more Jack Black videos at Funny or Die